The cycle only got worse as I entered 7th and 8th grade. And almost every single night I would cut my hips, hoping that this would make them like me, hoping that if I numbed the pain I could be normal. The pain never went away when I cut, it just made it be quiet for a little while. And when shit got worse, so did the cutting. The worst thing that anyone ever told me was that I did it for attention... I didn't tell a soul for two years, it was my dirty secret. All I wanted was to be pretty, that is still all I ever want. Everyday is a struggle and a battle. And everyday...
But now I have to make something out of this, change other people's lives for the better. I need to help other people who are fighting the same battle; remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
But now, after six full months of being completely cut-free... I can step back and say:
and god damn, everyday is still a battle but
Now I am just winning.